I’m in a situationship with a stereotypical Grover. But that’s not the problem. This boy in my 8 a.m. talks to me before and after class, and I accidentally gave him my number. Now he texts me too! I already said no when he asked me out … I don’t want to be rude, but I really like my situationship.
Not to mention, the 8 a.m. guy is not particularly my type. In fact, he’s chopped. He is sweet, but I’m just not sure how to politely let him down and get the point across. What do I do?
Yikes. Could you have at least left out the “chopped” part from your letter? I get saying that in a private convo, but putting it in The Collegian (especially since you say he’s sweet) seems more than a little overkill.
He’s not your type, OK, I get it. Guys with long hair are not my type. But you don’t see me calling them “chopped” in front of all our readers.
So, take a breath and put the stones down, sister. Saying “I don’t want to be rude” does not, in fact, permit you to be as rude as you want. It took me a while to realize this, but guys have feelings too.
Now, this guy is miles from Prince Charming, and he’s obviously not picking up your clues. But backbiting insults sent to my inbox are not going to solve your problem.
This may sound like counterintuitive advice, but hear me out: continue being friendly, but stop responding to his text messages and initiating interactions. If he asks, “Did you get my text?” tell him you do not feel comfortable having private text conversations with guys one-on-one if you are not in a relationship. If you want an excuse, say it was something you got from your homeschooling parents. (“Whoa, how did she guess I was homeschooled?”)
If that does not get the message across, tell him after class that you are not comfortable with one-on-one conversations with a guy you are not romantically interested in, especially since you are talking with someone else.
If that does not work, he has moved outside the world of common decency and courtesy. In that case, rip off the band-aid with a firm rejection.
Oh, and side tangent: what the h— do you mean by “accidentally” giving him your number? Huh? Are we supposed to brush past this detail without any questions?
Please write to me to explain what you mean. In the meantime, don’t engage, and be soft but firm with him. Oh, and watch your tone in any future pleas for my help.
Auspiciously,
Dr. Love, MD
