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\u201cWhat is a lady?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
This is a question I find myself asking as I become a woman. However, I rarely receive a consistent answer. Our culture cannot seem to agree on what a lady is or how she ought to behave.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
We can turn to the Bible for answers, but I do not believe that the Bible is explicit about what a lady is. The Bible tells us how all humans ought to act, how Christians ought to act and how spouses ought to act toward each other, but it does not address how women in society ought to behave, particularly in relation to men.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Biblical principles and Christian philosophy influence my view on ladylikeness, but I do not believe that the concept of ladylikeness or chivalry is inherently biblical. One reason is that ladylikeness depends heavily on social norms, which vary depending on culture and context.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
While several virtues of gentlemanliness and ladylikeness would apply to both men and women, these concepts are inherently gendered. Certain actions, behaviors and duties are particularly expected of men and women. One purpose of chivalry and ladylikeness is to define how men and women ought to interact socially.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
For example, we particularly expect men to hold open doors, lead in dating and romantic relationships and risk their lives to protect women. While women can do those things, it is expected of men to a higher degree. What then are the expectations ladylikeness would demand of women?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Fundamentally, the spirit of a lady cultivates life. Gentlemen must protect life, but uncultivated life might as well be dead, and ladies have nothing to cultivate if there is no life. The social relationship between men and women is meant to be complementary.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
The question that remains is how that spirit manifests practically. I will espouse a brief list. To start, ladies hold their tongue. They do not gossip, slander or ridicule. They are not vulgar, aggressive, unnecessarily argumentative or obnoxious. It is not ladylike to mock men.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
An example I often see on this campus is female students publicly chastising men for not being gentlemanly, openly calling them cowards. As a young woman, you will rarely be in a relationship where it is appropriate to call out your male peer\u2019s poor behavior \u2014 and even rarer is when it is appropriate to make your criticism public.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Do you believe it is gentlemanly for your male peers to publicly call you out on vulgarity, meanness or whatever your vices may be?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
A lady ought to use her words to build others up. A lady is particularly kind and gracious. She defends those who are slandered, protecting their character. She is a peacemaker, choosing harmony over proving herself right.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
A lady is sincere. She offers encouragement and support. If you see a male peer struggling to be a gentleman, a word of encouragement may inspire him far more than a terse insult.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Not only are her words sweet like honey, but her actions are gracious. A lady is not entitled, but instead, she selflessly serves others. Inconvenience yourself. In the dining halls, clear your peers\u2019 plates. Intentionally offer your time, energy and effort to serve your male peers.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Let gratitude pour out of your soul. Always say thank you, even for the \u201cbare minimum.\u201d Nothing is more endearing or attractive than a grateful heart.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
A lady also cultivates her mind and body. She reads good books, engages in fruitful conversations, keeps her body healthy and develops life-giving friendships. This is for her own benefit, the benefit of others and for the glory of God.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Perhaps ideas such as serving, not always expressing your opinion or inconveniencing yourself for your male peer\u2019s benefit put you on edge. Fear not, for this is purely equality in play. We ask gentlemen to serve and die for us. Gentlemen simply ask for kindness and gratitude in return \u2014 I think we got the better end of the deal.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
We cannot expect men to sacrifice their effort, convenience and lives and not hold ourselves to any standards. If you are not willing to observe the sacrifices of ladylikeness, do not demand to be treated like a lady.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
But we do not want to live in a world without ladies. Gentlemanliness and ladylikeness are symbiotic. They cannot exist without each other. Men cannot be gentlemen unless we let them. Men will have no reason to be gentlemen if women are not ladies.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Ladylikeness is a virtue. Virtue is a trait, or several traits, developed over time through habit. It requires sacrifice and is not easy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
If it were easy to be virtuous, Jesus did not die for much. But a woman striving for ladylikeness endears others to Christ by her virtuous actions and speech. While ladylikeness is partly for the benefit of gentlemen and society, it ultimately pleases God.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
So do all things without fear of man, but instead rely on the power and provision of Christ.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Part one of two reflections on gentlemanliness and ladylikeness in the 21st century By Amy Hutchinson \u00b7 Contributing Writer \u201cWhat is a lady?\u201d This is a question I find myself asking as I become a woman. However, I rarely receive a consistent answer. Our culture cannot seem to agree on what a lady is or […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":13,"featured_media":3579,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[215],"tags":[172,308,248,29],"class_list":["post-3578","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-opinions","tag-amy-hutchinson","tag-nov-6-2026-edition","tag-opinions","tag-perspectives"],"uagb_featured_image_src":{"full":["\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/6\/2026\/11\/54d9ab67992b9969ccc1e5638e028ec1.webp",1600,2191,false],"thumbnail":["\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/6\/2026\/11\/54d9ab67992b9969ccc1e5638e028ec1-150x150.webp",150,150,true],"medium":["\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/6\/2026\/11\/54d9ab67992b9969ccc1e5638e028ec1-219x300.webp",219,300,true],"medium_large":["\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/6\/2026\/11\/54d9ab67992b9969ccc1e5638e028ec1-768x1051.webp",768,1051,true],"large":["\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/6\/2026\/11\/54d9ab67992b9969ccc1e5638e028ec1-748x1024.webp",748,1024,true],"1536x1536":["\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/6\/2026\/11\/54d9ab67992b9969ccc1e5638e028ec1-1122x1536.webp",1122,1536,true],"2048x2048":["\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/6\/2026\/11\/54d9ab67992b9969ccc1e5638e028ec1-1496x2048.webp",1496,2048,true]},"uagb_author_info":{"display_name":"puruckermt24","author_link":"https:\/\/stuorgs2.gcc.edu\/thecollegian\/author\/puruckermt24\/"},"uagb_comment_info":0,"uagb_excerpt":"Part one of two reflections on gentlemanliness and ladylikeness in the 21st century By Amy Hutchinson \u00b7 Contributing Writer \u201cWhat is a lady?\u201d This is a question I find myself asking as I become a woman. However, I rarely receive a consistent answer. Our culture cannot seem to agree on what a lady is or…","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/stuorgs2.gcc.edu\/thecollegian\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3578","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/stuorgs2.gcc.edu\/thecollegian\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/stuorgs2.gcc.edu\/thecollegian\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/stuorgs2.gcc.edu\/thecollegian\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/13"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/stuorgs2.gcc.edu\/thecollegian\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=3578"}],"version-history":[{"count":4,"href":"https:\/\/stuorgs2.gcc.edu\/thecollegian\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3578\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":3630,"href":"https:\/\/stuorgs2.gcc.edu\/thecollegian\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3578\/revisions\/3630"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/stuorgs2.gcc.edu\/thecollegian\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/3579"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/stuorgs2.gcc.edu\/thecollegian\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=3578"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/stuorgs2.gcc.edu\/thecollegian\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=3578"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/stuorgs2.gcc.edu\/thecollegian\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=3578"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}