By Madeline McMahon · Contributing Writer
When there is no ring by spring, what do we do? Some of you may have never wrestled with this anxiety, but for others, it may be a question on the mind daily.
In my Christian circles, I often hear that it is so difficult to be content in a season of singleness. To hear this from strong Christians is baffling to me. For my Christian friends, it seems that struggling with something means they are discontented. However, this could not be further from the truth.
To those who told me this, I asked them a simple question: “What does it mean to be content?” No one could answer.
So, I pushed a little further, asking, “Do you have peace and confidence that God has a good and perfect plan for your life regardless of the circumstances?” “Yes, of course!” some said.
Why do people convince themselves that since they have an unfulfilled desire to be in a relationship, they cannot be content? These discontented Christians call their unfulfilled desire to be in a relationship a struggle. But their desire for a relationship is God-given. So often nowadays, people will take what they feel is a struggle or discomfort in their life and say it is discontentment.
As Christians, we are called to live lives of contentment, not comfort. Comfort takes away hard trials, whereas contentment, regardless of discomfort, is fully satisfied in knowing God’s goodness for our lives.
Just because we wrestle with our desires and wants does not mean that we lack trust in God’s plan for our lives. If you feel you cannot be content until you are given a relationship, then you will inevitably find yourself disappointed.
I can attest, having once been in a relationship, that just because you are dating does not mean all your problems are solved. You will struggle with other things during your relationship, and your significant other is not the one who will make you feel content in a difficult situation. Only God can do that.
The pressure that we often feel to get married at a Christian college like Grove City can be overwhelming. It affects us all to a degree. But the pressure is societal, not spiritual.
Dr. Bright, professor of psychology and sociology here at the college, says, “Biblically we are encouraged to get married … (but) ring by spring isn’t a good message.”
When we put a time limit on having to get a ring by spring or put on an expectation that we must meet our future spouse at college, we deny that God, in our singleness, is doing His work and working out His plan in our lives.
Oswald Chambers once wrote, “I must learn that the purpose of my life belongs to God, not me. God is using me from His great personal perspective, and all He asks of me is that I trust Him.”
A desire for a relationship is a godly desire, but sometimes we turn godly desires into gods. When that happens, we feel discontent. Our purpose in life is not defined by whether we have a ring by spring or not. Our purpose in life is defined by the one who created us.
So, what do you do when there is no ring by spring?
Trust in Jesus. When we put our trust in Jesus our Lord, we experience a contentment derived from the truth that the Lord is good even amid our unfulfilled desires.
