By Dr. Love · Love M.D.
I was invited to someone’s family Christmas this year, and I’m excited, but there’s one problem: Their ex will be there too. We’re still early in whatever this is, so now I’m overthinking everything. I don’t want to look clingy or jealous, but I also don’t know how to act.
I love Christmas and want to enjoy it without spiraling about everything. How do I show I care without making things awkward with the ex or embarrassing myself?
— Snowed Under in Anxiety
Sounds like your Christmas is going to be way more eventful than it looks like mine will be, and that is FINE by me. I prefer my Christmas spirit unspoiled by drama. I thought the upcoming “Stranger Things” release was the entertainment I should look forward to, but now I can’t wait to see how this situation pans out.
If they’re already inviting you to their family Christmas, it sounds like you guys are in a good spot … for a situationship. Showing up to someone’s Christmas without being a girlfriend, fiancée or wife is a bold move, but since they invited you, not going would be rude. Here’s my top 10 list of dos and don’ts to avoid disaster.
Don’t: Overthink it. If you do, it will just end up being awkward for everyone.
Do: Dress appropriately. Don’t show up in sweats, but don’t wear a ballgown either.
Do: Just be yourself. It sounds cliché, but it’s age-old advice for a reason.
Don’t: Disappear for an extended period of time. It’s normal to take a breath-er outside! Just don’t linger so long that everyone thinks you’ve left.
Do: Interact with everyone! Limiting interactions to only the person who invited you would look like you are trying to distance yourself from everyone else, which is never a good look.
Don’t: Eat too much ham or fish (depending on what type of food they have). Believe me: I’ve been there, done that. You won’t enjoy yourself if you’re overly stuffed. You’ll enjoy it even less when you wake up with a stomachache after your accidental post-Christmas dinner nap. Being stuffed isn’t a bad thing on Christmas, but being overly stuffed is pushing it.
Do: Be polite … to EVERYONE. Yes, even that weird cousin Sam who keeps hovering around, and even his ex. Being petty won’t endear you to anyone.
Don’t: Dismiss and act annoyed about family traditions. Each family has its own quirks.
Do: Bring a small gift for the host! It’s polite and an easy way to get into their good graces.
Don’t: Force anything. Let the night flow as it should. Things will work out, I promise.
Good luck!
