By Luke Paglia · Photo Chief
Nothing screams celebration of eternal love quite like a couple of thousand dollars’ worth of flower arrangements and sweaty college kids on the dance floor trying to keep up with line dances that only a few people know how to do.
As I am now more than halfway through my college career, I have hit the point in my life where I have friends who are getting married. I have been to more weddings in the past year than in the previous 19 years of my life. This has its benefits as well as its drawbacks. First off, I love celebrating such a special occasion with friends and family; however, as a broke college kid, wedding gifts are not fun to try to fund.
Nevertheless, attending a bunch of weddings before I get married allows me to learn about the most cringeworthy wedding traditions that I will certainly not include in my wedding, barring approval from my future wife, of course.
One of the weddings I attended this past summer had a bouquet toss. At first, this one may not seem as bad, but to me, it feels a little old school. I find it odd how a bunch of unmarried ladies gather and act like they are in the fourth quarter of the Super Bowl, shoving and diving for the bouquet as if it has magical powers to determine who will get married next. This tradition, however, does not really pertain to me, so I doubt I will have much say in this.
On the other hand, a tradition that I will 100% not be participating in is the garter toss. To me, and I think many others, this tradition is disgusting and humiliating. Nothing says celebration like grandma watching you crawl under a dress in front of a large crowd of close friends and family, right? WRONG! This tradition is so outdated, and as a Christian man myself, I would never participate in such an abominable act. This, without question, will never find its way into my wedding.
I do not even like cake. Well, that is traditional cake. Cheesecake is great, and cookie cake is fine, but I do not think I want a traditional cake at my wedding. That is something I can compromise on, however. The tradition I find unnecessary is the cake smash.
Is your wedding day supposed to be a promise to love one another forever or a WWE tryout? With some of these cake smashes, it’s hard to tell. That’s why, if I even have cake at my wedding, it will not be smashed on anyone’s face.
This one may be just me, but I do not want to invite everyone I know, and those I don’t, to my wedding. Just because my mom’s third cousins twice removed would be offended because they were not invited does not mean I want to be a people pleaser who invites anyone and everyone to my wedding.
Despite all my negative opinions of these “classic” wedding traditions, I still want to get married. I want it to be a day full of celebration with me and my future wife’s closest friends and family, and I want the traditions that we include to be fun for both of us.
