Concerned student (and her mother) object to shorts in winter
By Elise Schlemeier · Contributing Writer
Picture this for me: It’s 3 degrees Fahrenheit out. You, a long-suffering but dedicated student, are trekking through the bitter wind and icy sidewalks to class in SHAL. You are, for all intents and purposes, miserable. But then, out of the corner of your eye, you spot him. That one guy. You know the one; everyone’s seen him.
He could just be a normal student, walking to class, but it’s 3 degrees and he’s wearing basketball shorts.
To all those brave souls who wear shorts in the single-digit weather: Please wear pants. Pants are awesome, and they keep you warm. As someone who often wears pants, I highly recommend them.
Here’s the thing: The gorgeous warmth of this week notwithstanding, it’s just too cold for shorts. It may be warm this week, but it was not last week, and it probably won’t be next week (probably … but one can never be sure with Pennsylvania weather). Personally, I think that below-freezing temperatures should require below-ankle legwear (as in, it covers your whole leg), but I know people don’t all feel the cold the same way. Still, I think we can find a good compromise.
Real talk, let’s discuss frostbite for a moment. Frostbite is possible through prolonged exposure to freezing temperatures below 32 degrees Fahrenheit. The Salem Press Encyclopedia of Health notes that “An ambient temperature of … (14 to 5 degrees Fahrenheit) is usually necessary for deep frostbite to develop.” Walking to class in shorts at 30 degrees probably won’t put you at any significant risk for frostbite, but temperatures much lower and with a windchill is something to watch out for.
Now, maybe you aren’t worried about the cold or frostbite or anything. It’s almost spring, after all. That’s cool (haha, “cool”), but we’re worried about you. Your mom probably wouldn’t want to see you wearing shorts while walking through the Grove City winter escape.
I can’t speak for your mom for sure, but hear me out: My mom also approved the pants idea. That’s right. From the mouth of my (very cool and awesome and wise) mom to the ears of Grove City students, “It’s important to cover up when it’s cold outside.” Thanks, Mom.
To make one last plea, please stop wearing shorts in Pennsylvania winter — I am cold just looking at you. I am uncomfortable. As I walk to class in the single-digit weather, I see you folks in your basketball shorts, and I think, not only am I concerned, but I am cold now, too.
If you won’t do it for you, or your mom, do it for the concerned citizens of this campus. Put on the pants.
Okay, alright, I know I am being a little bit dramatic. I am not going to die or anything if you keep wearing your shorts. But, hey! I had fun writing this, and maybe you considered giving those pants a little more stage time (and also had fun reading this). Fight the cold, folks; put on the pants.
