My boyfriend is very sweet, and 95% of the time, he is the perfect boyfriend. However, for most of our relationship, I have berated how commercialized and stupid Valentine’s Day is and have convinced him that I don’t want to do anything to celebrate. But now I fear that the romance between us is dying. As I have watched all the happy couples around me enjoy Instagrammable trends and fall for couple-themed marketing ploys, I have begun to rethink my convictions. Should I cave to the cliches?
Help!
A Woeful Woman
The REAL Dr. Love is back in the house. Time for the professional to take over and show y’all how it’s done … although I must admit last week’s article was rather good.
Staying on your guard against all things cutesy and Instagrammable is understandable in the sense that you don’t want to fall prey to the secular trends. I think it’s ridiculous that the second the Christmas trees are packed away, Targets and Hallmarks whip out the giant teddy bears and chocolate boxes. Companies make Valentine’s Day all about commodities instead of the love that should be the focus. Some people, like Dwight from The Office, truly embrace the effects of this mentality and dream about selling fancy dinner reservations to the desperate. I fear that’s an example of exactly what you despise. There’s something so empty about a moment filmed just to put on Instagram.
Behind every successful relationship lies a great secret that many try to ignore: It’s all about compromise. There are so many ways to show love on a day like Valentine’s Day that don’t fall into the commercial craze. If you shoot down every single thing he does as a cliché and don’t tell him what you want instead, it’s easy for you both to get frustrated.
It’s about you two! Maybe your Valentine’s Day looks like a day at the trampoline park or a quiet dinner made at home with jazz playing in the background. It doesn’t necessarily have to be a movie or an expensive dinner out, and it doesn’t need to involve heart-shaped chocolates.
Your convictions aren’t unfounded, but just because something is cliché doesn’t always make it a bad thing. You don’t have to put it on Instagram. You could have a photo album just for you two do and be able to laugh about it later with him. Even better, come up with new traditions together that no one else does. It’s special, important to the people that matter and creates fun experiences that you wouldn’t otherwise have. Fill up a jar with ideas and pick one on an occasion like Valentine’s Day. That way, things stay fun and fresh.
May romance always stay in the air for you,
Dr. Love
Love M.D.
