By Catharine Runion · Community Editor
When everything in life seems to come pretty naturally and easily, the first taste of being bad hurts. A lot.
I was never one of those kids who struggled with school. Being ahead of my peers gave me the unbridled confidence (read: ego) to try my hand at pretty much any hobby I could get my hands on. I acquired various talents, consistent straight-A report cards and accolades for countless musical endeavors.
And then I hit Algebra 1, and I got a C on an exam for the first time in my life.
I was so confused. Suddenly, I wasn’t just naturally good at everything: I had to put real effort into things like math and science. Many of the things I was already good at started to require real, serious effort to continue on the same trajectory as before, and my ego was heavily bruised.
Jump forward to college, and I heavily leaned into my fear of failure. I became an English major because I knew I was good at it, went to orchestra because that was comfortable, and I stuck to “safe” hobbies.
I’ve now spent almost four years seeing clubs, activities and hobbies, thinking, “wow, that looks fun,” and never trying any of them simply because there’s a chance I would be bad at it.
Given that we’re all fairly similar around here, I’m guessing a lot of you suffer from the same crippling fear of being bad. We act like it’s the end of the world if we get a bad grade or fail at anything. It’s a whole lot safer to the ego if you just stick with what you’re good at.
Halfway through my sophomore year, I found myself staring at The Collegian community email and, heart pounding, I claimed an article for the first time. I had been secretly harboring an interest in journalism for years, perpetually held back by the fear of being bad.
I came to class the next day and asked Editor-in-Chief Emily Fox about half a bajillion questions about how to write an article. She was so kind. As I went through the process of writing and being published for the first time, I discovered a whole part of myself that I never knew existed.
The next semester, when I got more involved with the paper, I quickly realized just how irrational that fear was. Former Editor-in-Chief Emma Rossi and the rest of the editors took me under their wings and taught me everything I needed to know about the paper.
Even if my worst fears were realized, it wouldn’t have been a bad thing. The editors would have been just as kind and helpful to me regardless.
It strikes me funny to sit up here in my little editorial box and regale the reading public about something I still struggle with. I still let fear take over, because I hate being bad at things. It’s so uncomfortable. Besides my own personal feelings of failure, it means admitting that other people might (gasp!) have bad opinions of me.
But it’s truly all a pride issue. There are a lot of bad things about pride, but among these are that it separates you from people you should be building community with, and it keeps you from having a lot of real, true fun.
So learn from my mistakes: Be bad at things! Be wholeheartedly, unapologetically bad! Go and dance even if you have two left feet. Submit your writing to The Collegian or any of the magazines on campus. Join a club you’ve been wanting to check out. Try out pottery.
I can promise you that the risk of being bad is 100% worth it. If you end up being really bad, you will have learned something new and (hopefully) met new people in the process. If you end up being really good, then you’ve just unlocked a whole new part of yourself that you might have totally missed.
I am so thankful that I took a chance on being bad, because it allowed me to meet the best people ever.
Nick, your suggestions and constant kindness have made me a better editor and a better person.
Emma (though she’s gone), thank you for mentoring me and holding my hand as I dealt with the possibility of being bad.
Kathryna, you are such an inspiration and the hardest worker I know. I will spend the rest of my life aspiring to be as determined as you are.
Luke, Olivia, Mia, Christa, Matthew, Tava, John and John: You have made this semester a delight. The fellowship we cultivated here has been the high point of my time here at the college.
And to Emily, my fearless leader, the one who brought me into this family: Thank you. You have permanently altered the course of my life, and I am forever in your debt.
The fear of being bad might be holding you back from finding the people, places and things that will shape you the most. So go be the worst: It really is the best.
Thank you!
We appreciate your investment in our paper this fall. This is our last issue of the semester, but we’ll be back in the spring!
